


crush

by howelllesters



Series: alternate universe fics [1]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Crushes, Head Boy Phil Lester, Hufflepuff Phil Lester, M/M, Misunderstandings, Muggle Phil Lester, One Shot, Slytherin Dan Howell, Wizard Dan Howell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-01
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:08:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24490309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/howelllesters/pseuds/howelllesters
Summary: "The problem with being a Slytherin was that if you were caught with anything even slightly darker than normal, people got suspicious. And apparently, a book on how to raise the dead classified as ‘slightly darker than normal’, and then some."
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: alternate universe fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1769131
Comments: 4
Kudos: 31





	crush

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: crush + wizard/muggle AU

The problem with being a Slytherin was that, even now, after so much time had passed since the Second Wizarding War, if you were caught with anything even slightly darker than normal, people got suspicious.

And apparently, a book on how to raise the dead classified as ‘slightly darker than normal’, and then some.

Which was how Dan Howell found himself seated in the furthest corner of the library, across from one very sceptical Phil Lester.

Phil claimed he hadn’t been spying on him, but Dan was doubtful of this. They had a strained relationship at best, their rivalry as Seekers of the Hufflepuff and Slytherin team respectively not helping matters. Phil often seemed miffed that he was frequently bested by a fifth year, while Dan was certain Phil misused his seventh year prefect powers to report him to his Head of House far too often.

At this point, Professor Malfoy almost looked bored every time Dan traipsed into his office.

Their saving graces were their mutual friends in Gryffindor, who forced the two of them to spend time around each other off the Quidditch pitch, ensuring civility at least. Neither Dan nor Phil had felt it necessary to mention to said mutual friends that on more than one occasion, smuggled Firewhiskey into the legendary Gryffindor common room parties had led them to exchanging words and actions that were certainly more than civil.

Each time, both Dan and Phil had politely avoided the subject until it was all but forgotten again, each assuming the other didn’t care to re-live events when sober.

Except, therein lay Dan’s entire problem. Because when sober, he was still very much entranced by the pale-skinned, dark-haired Hufflepuff whose smile could charm an entire room without a wand in sight. Moreover, it also explained exactly how he’d landed himself in this situation he was in at the moment, but he wasn’t willing to reveal this to Phil.

“I’ll overlook the fact that you made a very poor attempt to hide that book from me if you’ll give me the name of the teacher who allowed you access to the Restricted Section to take that particular book out.”

Dan glared at Phil - his subtle moving of his long-abandoned Herbology parchment to cover his choice of reading material had been a stroke of genius in his opinion.

“Why do you need to know?” Dan asked, deciding to stall while he tried to think up a way to get out of this.

“Well, for starters, if it so happens that you didn’t have permission to access the Restricted Section, that would be something that might need to be investigated.”

Dan scowled. Phil knew full well that he didn’t have a permission slip, and he also knew how Dan had gotten into the Restricted Section of the library in the first place. Learning about the trick bookcase between the two sections that had been hexed by a heroic student of the past was almost a rite of passage for fourth years, and Dan had been privy to that information long before then anyway. Perks of being a Slytherin.

“Not only that, but your choice of research topic seems very odd for any student at Hogwarts, particularly a fifth year who isn’t even specialising in the Dark Arts.”

If Dan thought it was odd that Phil knew what he was specialising in, he let it slide for the moment. He had bigger things to worry about. Namely that he had absolutely no way of giving Phil the explanation he was demanding.

The dusty, crumbling black tome embellished with the title ‘Nefarious Necromancy: When Death Is Only The Beginning’ in a faded silver script sort of spoke for itself.

“I was interested in learning more about the Inferi,” Dan mumbled, pointedly staring at the book and not at Phil.

“I’m quite certain you can find out the basics in your standard textbooks,” Phil said, unimpressed with his answer.

“Well I wanted to know more,” Dan said huffily, his lips threatening a pout.

“Why? What were you planning to do, raise the dead?” snickered Phil.

When Dan didn’t answer straight away, his face went from amused to horrified.

“Were you- I can’t- why-,” he spluttered, his face turning more ashen than usual.

“No, wait,” Dan said helplessly, realising he probably ought to do some explaining before he got hauled off to Azkaban or something. “I, er. There is a reason. But I’m…”

He trailed off, and Phil shot him a look that clearly said his weak protest wasn’t going to fly, and he was about five seconds from running to the nearest teacher to inform them Dan was all but ready to start Wizarding War Three.

“If you can’t give me a good answer in the next minute, me docking Slytherin house points is going to be the least of your problems,” Phil said sternly, and a shiver went up Dan’s spine. 

Did he really want to explain to Phil though? Was the embarrassment really better than Azkaban?

Okay, so yes, it was, but it still wasn’t going to be pleasant.

“I overheard you talking to your friends the other day,” Dan mumbled, blushing furiously.

He chanced a look up at Phil, who still looked unnerved, but now intrigued as well.

“You said you missed fighting zombies, and I was going to see if there was a way to invent them, temporarily. So you could fight them again. I don’t know,” Dan shrugged, and then turned defensive. “You’re the one who fights zombies, I was just trying to make you hap- make you smile.”

He stared down at the offending book for a long while, but when Phil didn’t give him a response, he looked up again, enraged to see that Phil was struggling to stifle a huge burst of laughter.

“What?” he demanded prissily, glad they were in a far corner so no one could scold them for being noisy. Any second now, Phil was going to erupt.

“You were going to make actual zombies? For me?” Phil asked, trying to regulate his breathing and failing miserably, finally giving in and letting tears stream down his face. “You were going to raise the dead- Inferi- oh, Dan. Christ, you had me worried.”

“What is so funny?” Dan demanded. Was Phil laughing because there was no chance in hell that Dan would be able to use magic that dark? Because yes, it was true, but he was offended anyway. 

“We were talking about our video game consoles,” Phil explained, wiping his eyes. “Back home. A new game has been released, and none of that stuff works here, so we can only play when we get back.”

There was a pause, and then.

“The fuck is a video game console?” Dan demanded to know.

“It’s what Muggles play video games on,” Phil said gently, his Hufflepuff side coming out as he realised Dan genuinely looked put out. “They’re electronic games, on a screen.”

Phil always enjoyed confusing his wizarding friends with his Muggle talk, but this moment by far and away took the top spot. Poor, pure-blooded Dan, who had barely wrapped his head around the concept of electricity, had been trying to conjure actual zombies for Phil to fight.

“So you don’t… you don’t actually kill zombies?”

“Not in real life,” Phil confirmed, his tone still holding a teasing edge.

“So I didn’t need to get this book out? I didn’t even need to research what a zombie was in the first place?” Dan asked, now sounding indignant.

Phil shook his head, endeared all the same.

“Can I ask why you were so set on giving me zombies to fight though?” he asked, offhandedly.

“Doesn’t matter,” Dan shrugged, his blush returning at full-force.

“Hmm, okay,” Phil said, his face deep in thought. “Can we make a deal?”

“Depends what it is,” Dan replied sullenly.

“I’ll help you get this book back where it belongs and I won’t mention this to anyone, if you agree to come over to my place this summer and let me teach you how to play a video game.”

Phil was delighted to find that Dan’s blush was accompanied by an eager smile this time.

**Author's Note:**

> Uploading old fics. Unfortunately I have no idea when this was written, but I assure you it was not 2020.
> 
> Sits as part of my Hogwarts!Dan and Phil series, but the timeline is a little sketchy.


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